Going Home
by july's lilly
Summary: Takes place after Mission La Roca. The team goes home after a brutal assignment. Everyone, even the new doctor replacing Stephen knows that Natalie and Stephen are in love, but will Stephen and Natalie admit it to each other before it's too late?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

On the plane ride home, Stephen was unusually quiet. After most assignments, he would review the events with the team as they headed home, but this time he needed to think.

The assignment had been a rough one. He almost lost Natalie, Eva and Miles in the earthquake, and he almost got himself and Frank killed when they went to find Miles and then the stolen medications. He remembered Antonio Baracas, the man who spared his life so that he could help his sons. "I will take good care of them." Stephen promised, but unfortunately, he couldn't stop the government agents from taking them from the hospital. After all, they were guerilla fighters; they were the ones causing havoc in the country. He felt guilty because he knew that Baracas would never see his sons alive again. He then felt another surge of guilt as he remembered the letter his son Jack wrote to him before he left. Jack was angry at him for not spending enough time with him. Stephen vowed that things would be different as soon as he got home, but were they just empty promises again? He pounded his fist on the arm rest and muttered to himself. Frank was sitting next to him trying to sleep and was jolted awake.

"Hey man, are you ok?" He asked a little annoyed. Frank had been his friend since they both served together at a field hospital during the Gulf War and knew him better than anyone.

"Yeah, I'm ok, sorry for waking you." Stephen answered, quickly. Frank studied Stephen's face.

"Come on you can't fool me, what's wrong?"

"Frank I don't know if I can do this anymore, this job has taken over my life and I am tired of making promises only to break them, first Lisa, then Jack, now Baracas.

"I don't like where this is headed." Stephen looked at Frank but did not say anything.

"I hope you're not thinking of leaving. After all you're the one who got me into all of this in the first place." They both chuckled at his statement. It was true, when Stephen got the position as Head of Epidemiology at the NIH, he quickly called on his friend to join him. Frank was happy working as a cop, but Stephen promised him it would so much safer working with him.

"Think of your kids, your wife, plus the pay is a lot better." Stephen said. It didn't take him long to say yes, but it turned out to be much much more than either of them had bargained for, not that he was complaining.

"Come on man, we have been through too much for you to leave now. If not for you a lot of people would have died. I'm sad about Nestor and Juan too, but you did everything you could for them, Baracas knew the risks, we tried, and unfortunately we failed, but you have to remember the bigger picture. We prevented an epidemic from getting worse. Come on Stephen, don't you dare think about leaving!"

"No, of course not, I just need some time to sort things out, I need to spend time with Jack, and I want to see where I stand with…" His voice trailed off.

Frank waited to hear him say Natalie but was surprised when he said Lisa instead. The way Stephen acted in Colima when they discovered the clinic Natalie was working caved in gave him away. He was a mad man screaming her name, it was more than concern, there was something deeper there, but Frank knew that his friend wouldn't admit it.

"Look, I know I need to move on, but I still feel like I should have done something more to prevent our breakup."

"What about Natalie?" Frank asked.

"Natalie?" Stephen responded a bit surprised that he mentioned her name.

"I just thought, well, uh… never mind." He quickly changed the subject. "Stephen, I know how you feel about divorce, but Lisa has moved on, and you're right, you need to do the same."

"I know but I just need to be sure." He started to ask Frank why he mentioned Natalie, but he left that alone, instead turned and looked out the window. That was too complicated an issue to think about right now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Eva was sitting behind Stephen and Frank and couldn't help but over hear the conversation. Her seat mate, Dr. Natalie Durant had just left to check on Miles. "Interesting" she thought to herself. Natalie was a brilliant and beautiful doctor, but ever since her divorce from Mark, a professional hockey player, she was very guarded, and reserved and threw herself into her work at the NIH, preferring test tubes and Petri dishes to a social life, or maybe enjoying the company of a certain doctor? After they returned from their assignment at the ice station in Greenland, the team was joking that the staff at the station was right when they said that the place made people do crazy things. Natalie agreed, and then quietly admitted to Eva that when Stephen made it back safely after he went out in a blizzard to restart the generator in the adjacent building, she was so happy to see him that she broke into a full run, and hugged him so hard she almost knocked him over.

"Can you imagine, little ol' me knocking over a man as big and strong as Stephen?" Her face was glowing and her smile was so big as she recalled that memory and Eva knew that there was more to the story.

She kidded her about it saying "So you and Connor, hmm…seems like there were sparks between the two of you."

"For goodness sakes Eva, we're colleagues, friends, that's all," Natalie remarked dismissively, but Eva knew better. As Natalie got back into her seat, she glanced over at her. "Interesting indeed." She repeated to herself.

"Did you say something?" asked Natalie.

"No, just thinking out loud. So how is Miles?" Eva responded.

The plane finally landed, and when they got back to the NIH, Stephen reminded them about their debriefing in the morning.

"Get a lot of rest; we'll be back here tomorrow at 10:00 am." Stephen then turned to Natalie and took her aside.

"I wanted to let you know before the others," he started. "Nat, I'm planning to take some time off, I need to re-prioritize my life, spend some time with my son, straighten things out with Lisa. I already spoke with Kate and I told her that the team will be in your very capable hands while I am away."

Natalie did not respond right away, her mind was racing. "Straighten things with Lisa? What did that mean, I thought that was over, is he still in love with her? They are divorced…. Lisa?"

"Natalie, are you ok?" Stephen asked. He gave her that look that would always make her smile and blush, but this time she looked back at him with a blank expression on her face.

"H--how long will you be gone?" She managed to ask.

"I don't know, I'm thinking a month. I know it's a long time, but you will be okay, and I really need this time."

"Sure Stephen I understand, you will be coming back won't you?"

"I hope to, but there are so many things that happened over there that I have to sort out. I almost lost you," he paused, then quickly added "and, uh the rest of the team and I feel that was my fault. I sent you, Eva and Miles down there; I should have been there too. Instead, I was here drowning my sorrows because of my personal problems. Then I made a promise to a father I couldn't keep, I should have known better. I'm not sure if I deserve to be in charge of this team anymore."

"Stephen, we were all under a lot stress, you did a great job, everyone, including Kate looked to you for guidance. You can't blame yourself for what happened to those boys. They knew the risks, their father knew as well. You did everything you could to save them."

"That's what Frank said, but I didn't even have a chance to tell him, I think he deserved that from me. Natalie, I promised him I would bring them back." The look on his face was so sad that she wanted to hold him and tell him it would be ok, but she remained objective and reserved.

"Take as much time as you need Dr. Connor," she said with a mock formality. "We'll be here waiting for you when you get back." She smiled at him, he gave her a smile and a quick hug, then turned, picked up his bags, got into his car and left.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Finally back at her apartment, Natalie checked her mail and her phone messages. 37 messages in two weeks, all except the three from her mother were from tele-marketers. Her mail wasn't any better, bills and junk mail. She sighed as she threw the stack on the table by the door and proceeded to the bedroom. She pulled out her most comfortable P.J's and went to take shower. The warm water soothed her aching muscles, but did little to soothe the ache in her heart. So Stephen was going to work it out with Lisa. The thought kept coming back to her again and again. Every time she tried to put it out of her mind, it came back stronger. By the time she got out of the shower, she was in near tears.

"Why are you crying silly, he is your colleague, your team leader, he is a friend, no more."

"Keep telling yourself that," said a voice inside her, "you are afraid to say it, you love him."

"No I don't, yes he is handsome and strong, and smart, but he is stubborn, opinionated, too driven, and…. I have to work with him, I don't have time for a relationship; it would be totally wrong, inappropriate…"

"What is so wrong about loving him?" asked the voice.

"Only everything, for one he doesn't see me in that way, two he obviously still loves his wife, and three, office romances never work out, they just make everything harder. No, I just have to move on."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The first thing Stephen did when he got to his house was to call Lisa. It was late, but it couldn't wait.

"Hello?" it was Jack.

"Hey buddy, it's Dad." Stephen responded wondering why he was still up on a school night.

"Dad, are you back?" Jack asked excitedly.

"Yeah I am, and I want to talk to you and you mom as soon as possible. I have so much to tell you both."

Another voice came to the phone. "Stephen?" It was Lisa. "It's kind of late are you ok?"

"Of course, I'm just so glad to be back and I need to talk to both of you."

"Yeah, I heard that, why don't you come by tomorrow morning?"

"Alright, 8:00 ok? I have a meeting a little later in the morning."

Lisa sighed. Another meeting, which meant another assignment and another explanation to Jack why his father wouldn't be around, again. Thank God for Derek or Jack wouldn't have a father figure around at all.

"Sure Stephen that will be fine, I'll make sure Jack is up by then."

"Why wouldn't he be?"

"Summer vacation started a week ago and I have been letting him sleep in before he goes to camp next week."

"Oh, I'm sorry I thought he still had another week of school. Should I come later then?"

"No, he's so excited now; I don't think he will be able to sleep. 8:00 will be fine. I'll make breakfast."

"Great, hey Leese, uh, thanks." His voice was so gentle; Lisa was a bit taken back. In the months leading to the separation and then the divorce, they were always so angry at each other, and it was nice to hear the old Stephen, the one she knew before the bad times. As she hung up, Jack was looking at her with anticipation in his 11 year old eyes.

"He's coming over tomorrow? Yippee!!"

"Hey hold on there now, you know your dad is a very busy man, so don't get your hopes up high ok?"

"Mom, when he called me, he said things would be different, he promised!"

"Alright, alright" Lisa relented, "but you better get to bed now, because he is coming at 8 a.m. sharp and you will miss him if you keep standing around here."

"Ok mom." Jack kissed her quickly on the cheek, and ran up the stairs as fast as he could.

Lisa followed him up and walked into her room. "What was that all about?" asked the half asleep man in her bed. She didn't answer instead she began gathering his things. "Hey what are you doing!?" He exclaimed, sitting up in the bed.

"Derek, you have to leave, my husband will be here tomorrow at 8 am and if I know him he'll be early and I don't want to take a chance of him seeing you here on his first day back."

"Whoa, you mean your ex-husband don't you, I thought you guys were finished, I mean, isn't the divorce final yet?"

"Yes it is," she answered, "but please just… I don't want him to see us like this. I want him to meet you under better circumstances, he's kind of old-fashioned."

"Ok, I will but you need to let him know about us, after all we have been dating for over 6 months now and I think it's time."

"I know and I will, I promise."

As she lay in bed that night, Lisa thought about her son and his excitement about seeing his dad. "Stephen you better not mess this up again or you will live to regret it, I promise," she muttered under her breath as she drifted off into an uneasy sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Stephen hung up and started his walk to the shower. His mind went back to Colima, to the La Roca Mission and he began replaying the events in his mind. He thought of Antonio Baracas, and his sons, going with Frank to get the medicine back from the corrupt Health Minister, He thought about his arrival and finding out that the clinic Natalie was in had collapsed. It was a miracle that Natalie made it out of there alive. "She is a real fighter," he thought to himself and smiled.

When she joined the team four years ago he had his doubts about her being able to stick with it. His last partners couldn't get along with his intense, demanding and often times abrasive style, and they didn't last too long. He thought that he had found a good one in Kate Ewing, but she was only looking to climb the corporate ladder and used the prestige of working on the team to get the job of NIH director. When Natalie came aboard, Stephen took one dismissive look at her and knew she wouldn't last long either. "Dr. Durant, I expected the results of the gram-stain five minutes ago!" "You need to widen your search for the source why do I still have to tell you that?" He remembered how he treated her those first few weeks and cringed.

He wouldn't have blamed her if she walked out, but she stayed to his amazement, and the two of them became a great team. Her easy going manner had a way of calming him before his tirades with Frank, Eva or Miles got out of hand, and his intensity and eye for detail served to make her a better diagnostician. He remembered some of their assignments together and smiled at those memories. He hinted to Frank and Natalie about not being sure if he was coming back, but the idea of not seeing her every day did not sit well with him and he realized he missed her already.

"What are you doing Connor?" he scolded himself.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The next morning, Stephen put on his best suit, the dark blue pinstripe that always got him compliments. "It brings out the blue in your eyes." Lisa would say admiringly. He felt a little nervous, as he was getting ready. The divorce had been recently finalized, and this would be the first time he and Lisa would see each other since then. He got to the house early, just as Lisa predicted.

"Hey there," Lisa said as she opened the door. She couldn't help but notice the way he looked. "You didn't have to get all dressed up for us." She kidded. Stephen chuckled.

"Uh, you look good Leese." He stammered. "Thanks." She turned to flip the pancake she had in the pan.

"Lisa, I ah, I was hoping that you would let me take Jack instead of sending him to camp, I am taking a month off work and I want to spend it with him."

Lisa stopped what she was doing and turned around. "You're taking a month off? You have never taken off more than a few days."

"I know, but I want to spend time with our son, I want to take him back to Cape Cod, do some fishing… you know, like we used to."

Lisa was stunned. Since taking the job at the NIH, ten years ago, he was rarely home and vacations were even more rare. Work was always the priority and she tried to be supportive because after all he was saving lives, but the years of broken promises, lonely nights, and constant questions from their son where daddy was, finally took its toll on the marriage.

"Stephen, of course you can have Jack, he will be so happy." Stephen gave her a sad smile. How he wished things could have been different between them, divorce was the last thing he ever envisioned for them when they married. He hugged her then kissed her on the cheek.

"I'm sorry, Leese, for everything I put you through, this is not what I ever wanted for us, it's all my fault, can you ever forgive me?"

"It was both our faults Stephen, I'm sorry too, but I'm ok now, really. I just want you to be happy. Stephen you need a life outside the NIH, or it will kill you… it almost did." Suddenly they heard hurried footsteps coming down the stairs. Lisa quickly brushed away a tear and said, "Well, we did one thing right, she paused, "and here he comes."

They both laughed as they saw Jack flying down the stairs. "Dad!!" Father and son hugged as if they hadn't seen each other in years.

"Hey Jack, guess what? I am taking a whole month off and mom and I agreed that you can spend it with me if it's ok with you."

"Are you serious? Where are we going?" Stephen filled him in on all the plans and Jack ran back up the stairs as quickly as he came down to pack hooting and howling all the way.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Eva, Miles and Frank were already in the conference room when Natalie walked in. She looked very tired and it did not go unnoticed.

"Are you ok?" asked Eva.

"Yeah I'm alright, just didn't sleep well." Eva gave Frank and Miles a concerned look. Stephen came in the room. Natalie was looking down afraid to look at him. Last night she had to face the fact that she was in love with Stephen, but he did not feel the same, he said as much when he mentioned Lisa, and he would always see her as a colleague nothing more. "Get it together girl" she said to herself, "You are a professional, act like one."

Stephen began. "Before we get to the debriefing, I just wanted to thank you all for the great work you did. I'm taking the next month off and don't worry Frank, I am coming back, but before I go I want let you know how I feel about each of you. Frank, you showed tremendous courage in the field, I don't know how I would have survived if you weren't there with me. Miles, your commitment to your patients was extraordinary; you went above and beyond the call of duty. Eva, your dedication to that little boy was so touching, and you did an excellent job of coordinating everything." Stephen sighed and turned to Natalie. She felt his eyes burning through her. "Nat, what can I say to you? You kept me level headed, focused and your grace under fire was nothing short of amazing." Natalie was shaking. "Nat are you ok?" Stephen asked.

"Yes, I'm alright, just didn't sleep too well that's all." She quickly pulled herself together, even managed a smile as she looked up at him. Eva, Frank and Miles looked at each other, the tension was palpable.

At that moment, NIH Director, Dr. Kate Ewing walked in with a tall dark haired man. "I hope I am not interrupting anything."

"No Kate, we just started." Stephen replied, but he sensed something was wrong with Natalie, and made a mental note to talk to her later.

"Well, I'm glad." Kate responded. "I'd like to introduce you to Dr. Jonah Birch. We hired him away from Green Memorial Hospital last week. He will be here to assist you Dr. Durant while Dr. Connor is away." She then introduced him to the other team members. He seemed personable enough, and Eva liked him right away. Miles elbowed her slightly so that she could wipe the big goofy grin off her face. He was as tall as Stephen but his appearance was the polar opposite of him. Stephen was pale, with blond hair and clear blue eyes. Jonah was well tanned, dark brown hair and had big brown eyes. "I'll have to find out if he is married." Eva thought to herself.

Kate then addressed the team. "Thank you all for your terrific work. A lot of lives were saved and your teamwork and commitment have not gone unnoticed. Dr. Connor as you know is taking some time off but the rest of you also have some days off coming. Consider yourselves on vacation, as of the end of this meeting for the next two days, I think you need to rest and recoup after that last adventure."

The team cheered, two extra days off was welcome news. The meeting was over a short while later. Kate pulled Stephen aside and left Dr. Birch to mingle with his new team members. "I hear you guys are the best, I am so excited to be working with you." Frank, Eva and Miles gave him a collective thank you, while Natalie merely half-smiled. More than anything she wanted to get away. Thank God for the time off, she could get herself together and come back ready to work. Eva left the men to talk and went over to Natalie.

"So, two days off, how are you going to spend them?" she asked. "I'm not sure, one thing I do need is some sleep, think I'll do that first."

"You know what we need, Nat, a spa day. Why don't we take one of those days and check into that new spa resort _**Lily **_to unwind?"

Natalie looked at her friend. "Not a bad idea, I could use some pampering."

"Great, I'll make the arrangements." as she took out her cell phone and started dialing.

Kate finished talking to Stephen and went over to the others. He approached Natalie.

"What's wrong?

"I'm fine, really." Stephen wasn't convinced and started to say more but Kate interrupted. "Dr. Durant, we need to go over some things." She then ushered Natalie to where Dr. Birch and the rest of the team were. She gave Stephen an apologetic look; he smiled understandingly and walked out the door.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Stephen was in his office finishing up his report when Frank and Miles walked in. "Hey Connor, don't think you are going to sneak away before we could see you off," Frank joked. Miles brought out three beers; Stephen grinned as he accepted the gift, leaned back in his chair and took a long drink.

"I wouldn't dream of it. I gotta tell Natalie and what's his name how to keep you guys in line."

"So Dr. Connor", asked Miles, "what are you planning to do on your extended vacation?"

"My son and I are going to Cape Cod. My uncle has a beach house in Hyannis and we have it for the next three weeks. You guys should come up."

"We might just take you up on it" Frank mused.

Natalie and Eva walked in. "Where's Dr. Birch?" asked Miles.

"Oh, he and Kate were still talking so we decided to come and see you before you leave, Stephen." answered Eva. The five of them laughed and talked for awhile then Frank got a call from his wife signaling the end of their impromptu meeting. Each got up and slowly started to leave.

"Go on guys, I need to speak with Natalie." Stephen said as he held her arm motioning her to stay.

When Frank, Eva, and Miles got to the elevator, they looked back, and noticed somber looks on Natalie and Stephen's faces.

"What do you think that's about?" asked Miles.

"Don't know", Frank responded quickly.

"Come on Frank," said Eva, "you know." She paused a bit and then continued. "Didn't you guys feel the tension in the conference room? Didn't you see the looks they gave each other?" Neither responded.

"O.k., I'm just going to come out and say it. I think Natalie has a thing for Stephen." Frank rolled his eyes and grinned.

"What?" retorted Eva, seeing the look on his face.

"I was going to say the same thing, but I think that Stephen has a thing for Natalie."

"Well I think they have a thing for each other, but really, good luck with getting either one to admit it, you know what kind of workaholics they are, they'll never admit their feelings to anyone especially to each other." said Miles.

The three nodded in sad agreement as they got into the elevator. "That's too bad" said Eva as the doors closed.

Stephen sat back down at his desk and looked into his computer screen, as if he were working on something.

"You seemed distant at the meeting, what's happening?" Natalie was standing at the end of his desk, trying with all her might to keep from shaking again.

"I'm fine Stephen really, I think I'm more exhausted than I thought, the time off will be very welcome." Stephen looked up, searching for the right words to say to her. He wanted to tell her so much, but….

"So, ah, what are you going to do for the next two days?" He blurted out wanting to punch himself for sounding so stupid. Natalie told him about her plans with Eva.

"That sounds like a fun thing for you girls to do."

"Girls?"

"Oh sorry, I mean ladies, women."

Natalie laughed. "I'm kidding, Stephen." His cheeks turned red as he laughed. Natalie loved that sound. It was a boyish giggle that was so unlike his stern demeanor.

"And what are you planning for your month long vacation?"

"My son and I are going to Cape Cod. My uncle's beach house, we're going to do some fishing, crabbing, and I want to teach Jack how to sail."

"Sounds nice."

"Yeah, Lisa and I used to spend a lot of time there with Jack when he was little. We had a lot of good times there." Stephen suddenly stopped, not wanting to say more.

Natalie gulped as the ache from last night returned.

"Oh, is she going with you too?" she asked weakly, fearing the answer.

"I don't know she may come for a weekend." Why did he say that? Now he really wanted to punch himself.

Natalie didn't want to hear anymore. She quickly changed the subject to work. After reviewing some ongoing cases, they left and Stephen walked her to her car. "Have a good time" she said, "you too," he responded, and left to go to his car. Once Stephen was out of sight, the tears she had held back so well could no longer be stopped.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

The alarm clock shocked Natalie awake. Two days was not enough time. She sprang out of bed remembering she was in charge now. She quickly got ready and headed out the door. As she got to the door of the NIH, she saw Dr. Jonah Birch opening it for her. They traded greetings and headed inside. Natalie was quiet as they got in the elevator.

"You look very nice today Dr. Durant." Jonah offered hesitantly trying to break the ice. She looked at him and realized she was ignoring him.

"I'm sorry, Doctor. I just have a lot on my mind, I don't mean to be rude."

"Please call me Jonah and I don't think you could ever be rude" he replied. She looked at him curiously. His manner was so unlike Stephen, he was very friendly and easy going. She liked him right away. They got off the elevator and Natalie went in to meet with Kate for their next assignment.

Kate had nothing new for them at the moment, so the team was free to work on other projects. Miles was doing research for an article for the _American Journal of Epidemiology_, Eva had some press releases to work on and Natalie and Frank were consulting with Dr. Hanneman about a Malaria study he was beginning. Natalie took Jonah with her to show him around. He made her laugh easily and it made Stephen's absence more bearable. She was surprised how quickly the day went.

It was getting late and Natalie still had to write a report for the study review board meeting scheduled for the morning. As she walked into Stephen's office, she let out an audible sigh. She gently touched the baseball that was on his desk, sat in his chair and closed her eyes. Jonah was still with her, looking at her curiously. She opened her eyes, suddenly remembering he was there and was slightly embarrassed. "Jonah you don't have to stay I'll see you tomorrow."

"Ok, see you then." He left and as he pushed the down button at the elevator, Jonah turned around and smiled slyly as he watched Natalie. "So, now I know who the competition is" he said to himself as he got in.


	10. Chapter 10

**After La Roca**

**Chapter 10**

**"**Alright Jack!" Stephen cheered, "You are getting to be quite a sailor, you'll have your license in no time." Jack beamed proudly as he steered the boat to the dock and jumped off to tie it in. Stephen watched as his son secured the boat. The past three weeks were busy for them, sailing, crabbing, scuba diving, and exploring the lighthouses and the time quickly flew by. Jack was growing so fast, and Stephen was glad that they had the chance to reconnect. A twinge of guilt came over him as he thought about Baracas, but he put it out of his mind as fast as he could.

"Hey buddy how about a nice dinner out tonight, I'm sure you are getting tired of the old man's cooking" "Sure Dad." Stephen smiled and hugged his son. Jack was a great kid, why did it take him almost dying in Central America to figure it out? "Dad…. you're crushing me" Jack choked. Stephen chuckled. "Sorry son."

At the restaurant they were looking over their menus when Jack said the most random thing to Stephen.

"I like Natalie."

"What?" asked his father in amazement. Jack repeated his statement. Stephen was shocked, Jack had only met her on two or three occasions, how did he remember her?

"She's nice and she's really pretty, you should ask her out. Stephen looked at his son and laughed that an 11 year old would give him dating advice.

"Yeah, she is a great doctor."

"Come on Dad, you like her don't you?"

"Yes, I like her very much."

"Well then…"

"Son, I appreciate your concern, but I'm ok really."

"But Dad, I don't want you to be lonely, mom has Derek now and…." Stephen smiled as he interrupted his son. "Jack, I have you how can I ever be lonely?"

Stephen was not one to ask women out. How he got Lisa to notice him was always a mystery to him. When they met, he had just come back from his tour of duty with the army in the Middle East. He had a reputation as an outstanding, exceptional doctor but very serious, and somewhat with drawn. They were introduced by mutual friends who felt that her outgoing personality would loosen him up. Lisa was instantly attracted to his bright blue eyes and his brooding good looks and he was surprised at how easily he could talk to her. Within a year the two were married. She was a big help to him as his career took off and she enjoyed going to his functions and hosting parties in their home.

As time went on though he became more and more involved in his work first as Head of Epidemiology at Johns Hopkins, then at the NIH and his wife took second place. Stephen was a crusader, hoping to cure all the world's ailments as if to make up for the loss of his beloved sister. That drive and commitment made him a great doctor but a lousy husband. When Jack was born, he tried to scale back a bit, but each time he tried, his drive to find a cure to whatever disease presented itself to him proved to have a stronger hold on him. He always promised Lisa that he would change but it never happened. They went for counseling once and it seemed to help for awhile but then it was business as usual, Stephen's work hours got longer, the assignments took him away more and more, and when he was home the arguments between them grew steadily worse.

He accused her of being whiny and selfish; she accused him of being cold and uncaring. When she demanded a separation, he resisted, and again promised he would change, offered to go to back to therapy, but it was too late in her mind. She wanted out and nothing would change her mind. The arguing continued to escalate and during one heated exchange Jack came in between them crying and begging them to stop. Lisa took him in her arms, and Stephen's heart broke as he realized he was hurting his son, so he finally relented, with the hope that they could work it out, but every attempt was always interrupted by a phone call and another case he couldn't refuse. When Stephen found out she was dating again and was getting pretty serious about one guy Jack told her about, and once the divorce was final, he decided to close himself off to that part of his life, not wanting to cause or feel that kind of pain again.

They spent the rest of the evening talking about other things, Stephen made sure of it. That night after Jack had gone to bed, Stephen's thought long and hard about his life. He promised himself and God that he would be different. If it was too late for him and Lisa, he would make damned sure it wouldn't be too late for him and Jack. As he drifted off to sleep thoughts of Natalie surfaced. He could see her face, hear her voice and he wondered how she was doing, what new case the team was working on and if she missed him. "Don't go there Stephen," he scolded himself, "you will only wind up hurting her too."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Natalie was in Stephen's office again talking on the phone when Jonah knocked at the door. "You look good in that seat, very authoritative." Natalie smiled. "Well, Dr. Birch you'll finally get to see us in action." She remarked as she hung up the phone. They both walked toward the conference room. Eva, Miles and Frank were already there. Natalie filled them in on the details and they were headed off to Middleboro, a small town in Massachusetts to look into a case where five students in a second grade class developed sudden confusion, extremity weakness and irritability, and a sixth student was presenting with the same symptoms.

They were ready to go shortly after the meeting. Miles was mapping out their route in the van and pointed out that they were headed in Dr. Connor's direction. "Maybe we could visit him." He quipped. "No, he will be back next week, Natalie answered, I'm sure he doesn't want us bothering him." She sounded annoyed at the mention of Stephen Connor's name. She knew that Miles didn't doubt her ability, no it wasn't that. She was angry with Stephen. Three weeks and not one call to find out how the team was doing. He could have at least called Frank, his closest friend to check up. "He probably has his hands full with Lisa," she shuddered at the thought.

They got to the hospital and quickly set up shop. Natalie and Jonah interviewed the doctors and took blood samples, Frank helped Miles assess the patients and their parents to find commonalities and Eva met with the hospital's director to set up a communication center. Things were running very smoothly and everyone was happy to be back in the field. Jonah was impressed by Natalie's calm, cool, but caring demeanor, he stood back to watch her as she spoke with the parents of one little girl. "Stephen is an idiot," he thought, "but his loss will be my gain." He smiled hopefully as he joined the group.

After a long day the team met at a local diner to review the day's events. Eva, Frank and Miles left soon after they finished eating leaving Jonah and Natalie alone. Jonah saw his opportunity. "Natalie, you were fantastic out there today. They way you spoke to the parents and the hospital staff, you are not only a brilliant doctor but you are a beautiful, and very caring one as well. I find that very attractive, even seductive." Natalie looked at him curiously, not sure how to respond.

"I'm sorry, I was being too forward, but Natalie I need to tell you that I think you are an incredible woman and you should be happy."

"You think that I'm not happy?"

"Well, you spend most of your time at the NIH, you tell me. There's got to be more to you than work." Natalie laughed out loud but couldn't deny it. After her divorce she threw herself into her work especially since she had to prove herself to the arrogant SOB that she was teamed up with. She smiled to herself remembering the look on Stephen's face when she first stood up to him. At first he looked shocked but then a smile slowly formed and he nodded to her in acceptance. Their relationship took a better turn and work became a good place to come even when they were faced with terrible situations. She felt at home, the team became more than friends, they were family, and Stephen, well Stephen… Jonah was right she invested too much time with her work and if there was no hope with Stephen, she needed to move on.

"What do you have in mind?"

"For starters, let's just take a long walk. I want to know everything about you." She smiled and linked her arm in his. "Lead the way."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

It was still early, so Frank, Eva and Miles took the opportunity to pay a surprise visit to Stephen.

"Nice life huh?" Frank yelled as they arrived to find Stephen with Jack sitting on deck chairs watching the late summer sun as it was starting to go down.

"Heh, hey, what a great surprise," Stephen sprung up to greet his friends.

"What are you guys doing here?"

"We're in Middleboro working on a case at St. Martin's Hospital." answered Frank.

"Really?"

"We arrived this morning."

"Where's Natalie?"

"She didn't know we were coming, she and Dr. Birch were busy, and we decided to come on the spur of the moment." Eva responded. Stephen felt a twinge of jealousy. Each took turns catching up, and then Eva and Miles joined Jack for a stroll on the beach while Frank and Stephen stayed behind. Frank gave Stephen a full report on their case. Stephen went into take charge mode, offering his input, but then he remembered that Natalie was in charge.

"Sorry Frank, force of habit."

"No problem."

"So, how is she?"

"She's fine; Natalie is great she could give you a run for your money pal."

"She probably could. She's is pretty terrific isn't she?"

"Yes she is. Dr. Birch seems to think so too."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, they have become pretty good friends and they make quite a good team."

Stephen didn't say anything, and tried to act as if it didn't bother him, but Frank could read his friend better than anyone else. Eva and Miles rejoined the group and soon it was time for them to leave.

"Did you put the bug in his ear about Jonah?" asked Eva as they drove away.

"Oh, yeah and if I know Connor, he'll act on it soon enough." laughed Frank.

The three conspirators wore proud smiles as they continued their drive back.

When they were out of sight, Stephen ran inside and made a call. "Lisa, I need a big favor from you. How soon can you come here?"

"Stephen, what's the matter?" you sound distressed.

"I'm taking your advice."

Lisa smiled. "I'll be there the day after tomorrow."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

By the time Natalie and Jonah finished their walk, it was almost midnight. Natalie's practical side came out.

"Jonah, we have an early day in the morning, I think we need some sleep." "Yeah, I guess all good things must come to an end, thank you for a great time Natalie. Next time, dinner and a movie."

"It's a date." She replied, a little hesitantly. They entered the hotel, got out of the elevator and headed to their rooms. As they reached the door of Natalie's room, Jonah suddenly stopped, turned and kissed her. Natalie, to her surprise, returned the kiss. She stopped abruptly, but Jonah was all smiles.

"I'm not sorry for that Dr. Durant."

"Jonah, I don't know what to say this is not like me.."

"Well you need to be a little less like you and have some fun." He leaned in to kiss her again.

"No Jonah, no. I mean I like you I really do, but I can't, I'm sorry." She lowered her head.

"Why, is there someone else?" He knew.

"Someone else, no of course not, it's just that…" her mind filled with thoughts of Stephen. "We need to remain professional."

"I don't think that is it at all, there is someone else, and I know who it is." Jonah wanted to get it out in the open and fight it head on. "Dr. Connor." Natalie gave him a look but said nothing. "You don't have to say anything, I can tell. You know, if he can't see how great you are, then he is a fool and he doesn't deserve you, but I'm patient." He kissed her on the forehead, gave her a smile then went into his room.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

The next morning, Natalie tried to act as if nothing had happened. She went over labs with Frank and Miles, and chatted briefly with Eva about a press conference but inside she felt hot, as if a big spotlight was on her and everyone knew what had happened last night. From the reactions of everyone around her she started feeling reassured that all was well, until Jonah walked into the lab. She had a hard time looking at him, but all he could do was smile at her. When they had a minute to themselves, Jonah assured her that it would be their secret and that the next time they kissed it would be because she wanted it. "And it won't be long, I suspect." He was so sure of himself, and Natalie didn't know whether to slap him or laugh at him. She started to say something to him, but was interrupted by Eva with a message from the director for a status report. She reverted to professional mode and started issuing instructions and orders for the team.

By the end of their fourth day, they had found the cause of the illness in the children and all were responding well to the treatment Natalie prescribed. It felt good to have been able to help these families and she truly understood why Stephen was so intense. His decisions affected the outcomes for so many and the weight of making a bad decision always loomed large over all of them but as the leader of the team the ultimate responsibility was his and he had the tendency to take defeats very hard.

Stephen. Natalie felt as if she had betrayed him, but what did she exactly do? For that matter what did he do, what did they ever do? Here was Jonah, smart, handsome, funny, self assured, just the kind of man she needed and he was most definitely interested in her. He made her laugh and made her feel beautiful and wanted; it was hard to resist that kind of attention. "But is he who you want?" The voice was back. The question would not go away so she finally decided she had to face the man who was causing all the turmoil inside of her and get an answer one way or another so that she could move on. She remembered where Stephen said he would be, and told the team to go on with out her, she would join them later.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" Jonah offered.

"No, I'll be ok, see you tomorrow."

Natalie borrowed a car from the hospital director, got directions to the beach house and set off to find Stephen. She needed to stop pretending that she didn't love him and find out once and for all if he even cared about her. It was better than not knowing and it wasn't fair to Jonah.

It wasn't a long drive to Stephen's house but it seemed like forever. Natalie cursed the traffic; the older couple in front of her who wouldn't go over the speed limit, anything that made her have to slow down. There were times when she thought "this is crazy, I am not one to chase after men, I should just turn around", but the voice would not let her. She found the house, but waited a few minutes before getting out of the car.

Finally, summoning up the courage, she got out, walked up to the front door, and rang the bell. "What am I doing? What am I going to say?" She suddenly felt sick and turned to go when the door opened. Lisa was on the other side. She felt her face flush as she tried to think of a reason for her visit. Jack also appeared at the door. "Hi Natalie," he said, are you coming to visit dad?" "Ah, uh, well sort of… we're working on a case nearby and I thought Dr. Connor might want to…." She tried desperately to find something to say that would sound remotely plausible, but mercifully, Lisa let her off the hook. "He's not here, but come in, we have some crabs in the pot, you're welcome to join us." "Oh, no I don't want to impose, I'll just talk to Dr. Connor when he gets back to work." She said a quick good-bye, and practically ran to her car, wanting to get out of there as soon as she could.

Tears of embarrassment filled her eyes. Well, at least she knew where she stood with Stephen. He and Lisa were obviously working things out and she had no right to interfere. She sighed deeply. "What was I thinking, why am I such a fool?" She needed to forget about Stephen, and maybe Jonah would be the one to help her forget. He was obviously interested, she liked him, and in time she was sure she could grow to love him. She kept saying it over and over to her self so as to convince herself that it would all work out. The drive back was a long and arduous one.

Natalie turned into the parking lot and headed into the hospital to give the keys back to the director. She called for a cab, and went to the hospital coffee shop to wait.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Natalie got her coffee and sat down at a table. She stared blankly out the window, her emotions spent. She didn't even notice when a figure slid in the seat across from her. "May I join you?"

She looked up and almost choked. "Stephen! What are you doing here?"

"I talked to Frank; he told me the team was working a case here. I was in the neighborhood and thought I would see how you were. The director told me the team had finished and left, but that you were still here. He had nothing but good things to say about everyone especially you." Natalie blushed.

"So, Manganese toxicity, that's pretty rare."

Natalie regained her voice. "Uh yes, it was a little tricky to find it since it leaves the body so quickly, but the sixth child's level's was still elevated when she came in, so we were then able to trace it back to the breakfast cereal they all had and got the word out to recall the cereal."

"Good work Nat."

"So, how is your vacation going?" she asked nervously. He was giving her that look again.

"Great, Jack is such a great kid, and I almost missed knowing what a wonderful son I have."

"That's good Stephen, I'm happy for you." He paused, anxious about what he would say next.

"Nat, I have been doing a lot of thinking these past three weeks and I need to tell you something." Natalie feared the worst.

"I love my job, it is my passion, so much so that it ruined my marriage, almost cost me my son and the people that I not only work with but who I consider true friends."

Natalie's looked down feeling faint. Was this his goodbye? If he was going to start over with Lisa, it would make sense that he would give up the job to work on their relationship. She felt her heart in her throat, and closed her eyes preparing for the worst.

"Nat it almost cost me you." She looked up and stared at Stephen.

"What do you mean?"

"When you were in that rubble after the clinic caved in, I panicked, I freaked out. Frank had to calm me down before I could go in after you. I don't know what I would have done if you had died. I realized then that my feelings for you went deeper than just friends or colleagues, but we were there to finish the job, that was the priority. To tell you the truth, I was scared of those feelings and part of the reason I took time off was to sort them out, I needed the time to think because I don't want to hurt you."

"Why do you think you would hurt me?"

"Because I am in with love you, but it seems that I always hurt everyone that I love, I always drive them away."

Natalie was dumbstruck. He did love her. All this time she thought it was Lisa that he wanted to be with but it was her all along. She looked up at him in disbelief. Natalie couldn't speak and Stephen knew that he said something wrong and cursed himself for being so forward. "I'm sorry."

"No Stephen, I'm glad you did because the truth is that I love you too."

Now it was Stephen's turn to be dumbstruck. Tears welled in his eyes. Then he laughed with that boyish giggle that Natalie adored. He took her hands and kissed them then pressed them to his cheek. "Natalie you are beautiful, caring, smart, and so patient with me. I don't think I ever apologized for the way I treated you when you first came, can you forgive me?"

Natalie laughed. "Well you are intense, cocky, and yes obnoxious at times." Stephen chuckled. "But it's all a pretense Connor. I see how you treat the patients and their families, you are a deeply caring man and I know how this job weighs you down. Stephen we're in this together, I will always be here for you. I won't leave you, I promise."

A man came into the coffee shop. "Dr. Natalie Durant here? I got a cab waiting."

"She won't need it now." Stephen told him. He put a 50 dollar bill into his hand. "Thanks for your trouble."

Stephen led Natalie to his truck. Before she got in he grabbed her, held her tightly, and then kissed her. Natalie could feel the warmth and tautness of his body and she responded eagerly and passionately, not wanting the moment to end.

"I went to see you tonight, that's why I stayed behind." She confessed.

"I know, Jack called me after you left, he likes you too."

"He does, does he?" she smiled.

"And I came here looking for you." They laughed as he held her in his big strong arms. She pressed her cheek against his chest and enjoyed the resonance of his voice as he spoke. "I love you Natalie Durant."

"I love you too Stephen Connor." He kissed her again then opened the door and helped her to her seat. "Let's go home."

"Home," she repeated, "I like the way you say it."

The end…


End file.
